You Are Not Your Job

You Are Not Your Job

I recently read an article about Matthew Bowers. In the article, Matthew was expressing his concern about what he referred to as an “alarming shift” in his mindset concerning his career. What alarmed him was the fact that he had recently discovered that his identity was no longer exclusively tied to his job. “I always saw myself as a high-performance individual who was focused solely on working my way up to VP, but lately I’ve been worried that I may be developing aspects of my personality that have nothing to do with climbing the corporate ladder,” said Bowers, 42, noting that he has recently observed in himself an “unhealthy” level of preoccupation with personal interests, activities, and relationships that can in no way give him a leg up professionally. “Just the other day, I was telling my boss about my son’s soccer game—at work, mind you—and he responded by calling me ‘a real family man.’ My boss called me that. It was a huge wake-up call.” TheOnion.com After his “wake-up call” Matthew determined that he would return to his roots, which for him included working until at least 9 pm each night, and missing his kids soccer games and piano recitals. I can relate too Matthew’s story. In the past I have found it easy to get caught up in my career at the expense of everything else. I have a feeling I’m not alone. For many of us work is often where we spend most of our time, energy and attention. Knowing that your job is not your identity is one of the keys to creating the life of your dreams....
5 Warning Signs That Your Life Is Out Of Control – And What To Do About It

5 Warning Signs That Your Life Is Out Of Control – And What To Do About It

Your Life Might Be Out Of Control If… You are constantly overbooked… Your workspace is out of control… You can’t remember the last time that you spent time with your friends and family… Your temper is flaring up more often… You have a hard time sleeping… If you experience one or more of these 5 warning signs, your life might be seriously out of balance. Having control of your life is one of the keys to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all 10 of my keys to creating the life of your dreams. A Life Without Balance Being out of balance often leads to stress and anxiety which can manifest itself in many ways. If you are finding that people getting on your nerves more than usual, you might be struggling with work-life balance. I find that when my life is out of balance, my sleep is not restful, or I stay up too late trying to unwind. If you are finding sleep hard to come by, or just not finding enough hours in a day to sleep well, you are may need to check your life balance. The Balance Solution We all struggle with balance at some point in our lives. Trying to manage all the areas of our life – career, finances, relationships, health,  is extremely difficult. That’s why it’s imperative to have a plan that you can follow so that you can balance all the areas of your life effectively and make continuous progress towards your life goals. There are dozens of great resources out there that teach you...
Learn To Say No So You Can Say Yes

Learn To Say No So You Can Say Yes

Our lives are busy. We have so many commitments. We’re committed to our church. We’re committed to our work. We’re committed to our family. We’re committed to friends. We’re committed to people we don’t even know sometimes! These commitments are all things we’ve said yes to. There’s a problem with that. When we say yes to everything that comes our way, we’re saying NO to a lot of other things. For example: You commit to spending all day Sunday, part of your day Wednesday, and various other days of the week at church. You were asked so you said yes. There’s nothing inherently wrong with helping at church. In fact, it’s something we should all do. However, when we begin to over-commit we begin saying NO to other important facets of life. We say no to giving our spouse attention. We say no to spending time with our sons. We say no to our friends who we’ve neglect. Maybe you’re not a church-goer but you’re committed to your work. The same applies here. You agree to work late Monday, Wednesday, and Friday because you were asked. No big deal, you thought. Then you realize your son has his varsity football game on Friday nights. Oh! And on Wednesday you wanted to go to the home improvement class at your local Lowes store. And, you didn’t remember, Monday nights were going to be date nights with your beautiful wife. Ouch! Can you see how those well meaning yeses made you say no to some very important aspects of your life? We do this all the time and don’t realize it....
How Just Saying No Will Help You To Create A Remarkable Life

How Just Saying No Will Help You To Create A Remarkable Life

I have failed in so many areas of my life over the last few years that I can’t even begin to count them all. For me it’s a little bit of everything. Never really completing tasks, and when I do complete something it’s only really half way complete. This is the result of never having the time to do everything that I have committed too. I am starting to realize that I am overcommitted and overwhelmed. Now I am looking at all the areas in my life and searching for things that I can eliminate, so that I can invest in the things that really matter.   Maybe your life feels this way too… Knowing when to say no is one of the keys to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all 10 of my keys to creating the life of your dreams. Are You Over-Committed? As men, we want to accomplish everything, and we want to spend our time doing what really matters to us. We think that since we are men, we can get it all done. We tend to overestimate what we can accomplish, and have a hard time saying no to things that we are asked to do.   We also live in a “yes” culture. A culture where “yes” is the expected answer, and we feel guilty when we have too say no to a reasonable request.  This can make it very hard to say no, and can leave many of us over-committed, overworked, and overwhelmed as a result. Learn How To Say No! At...
Seeking The Advice Of Other Men

Seeking The Advice Of Other Men

This past year I took a big leap and made the decision to reinvent myself. As a small business owner, I knew I was meant to make a direct impact on people’s lives. Three years of running a specialty furniture business taught me countless lessons, but it was missing the opportunity to develop people in a way I knew I was made to offer. Before owning a business, I trained leaders with a non-profit, and loved the work. I was looking to do something similar yet in a different direction, and I needed the advice of other men. I turned to two men who have worked for years in consulting and leadership development. One is a peer, the other could be my father. For the past 6 months, they’ve been helping me learn about this line of work. Friendships grew with both men, and they affirmed my strengths for developing leaders. I’m now working with an emerging national leadership consultancy. As I’m growing in this field, our friendships have paced right along. Having the right men in your life is a key to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all 10 of my keys to creating the life of your dreams. Over the years, crucial junctures in my life have turned out for the better because of the advice of other men whose wisdom was worth hearing. If you’re in need of advice, doing the following can help you get the most out of those conversations: 1. Seek out someone you trust for their character and respect for their...
10 Kinds Of Friends Every Man Needs

10 Kinds Of Friends Every Man Needs

According to news reporter Walter Winchell,  “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” As a man we have acquaintances, and then we have friends. A real friend is one that sticks with you through thick and thin. Honestly most men lack real friends. We tend to operate with shallow relationships. This is due to that fact that friendship requires intimacy, and most men will run for the hills instead. I read an article awhile back that well brought all this to light. “Of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends. Moreover, the friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships. When men get together, they’re more likely to do stuff than have a conversation.” This article resonates with me as it speaks a great deal of truth. We usually would rather hunt, fish, or watch a game than talk to each other. However there are certain types of friends every man needs in their life, whether they admit it or not. Through the callous exterior all men can sheepishly admit that these guys really exist in their life. Sometimes one friend embodies several types, but we need them just the same. Having the right men in your life is a key to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all 10 of my keys to creating the life of your dreams.   1. Sensai – Every guy has that friend who is chock...
4 Types of Men That You Need In Your Life

4 Types of Men That You Need In Your Life

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ― Jim Rohn I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea that we’re only as good as the five people that we spend the most time with. I think that a lot of my struggles have come from trying to go it alone. I have found that if I surround myself with men who encourage and challenge me, it helps me to become a better man. Maybe you are in the same situation. If so, you’re not alone! Having the right men in your life is a key to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all 10 of my keys to creating the life of your dreams. The title of a recent post on Salon.com was “American men’s hidden crisis: They need more friends!” The article says “that of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends. Moreover, the friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships.” You might find it encouraging to know that you’re not alone in this, although it might not feel that way. Who you surround yourself with makes a huge difference in your life, and when you’re surrounded by the wrong people, it has a huge negative impact on you. If you find that you spend a lot of time spinning your wheels and flinging a lot of mud, but never moving forward, it might be because...
7 Secrets to Choosing the Right Tools for Achieving Your Goals

7 Secrets to Choosing the Right Tools for Achieving Your Goals

We all know the importance of setting goals for ourselves, but many people haven’t realized the great value a good goal setting tool can offer. Selecting the right tool or setting up a right goal tracking system, not only can help you clarify and organize your goals, but more importantly, it can significantly increase your chance of reaching them faster with less effort. Setting goals is a key to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all 10 of my keys to creating the life of your dreams.   1. Select tools based on your goal types The first step in deciding on a goal setting system is to identify what kind of goals you are setting. Is it a personal development goal, a business goal, a career goal, or a health or fitness goal? Different goals call for different goal setting methods. You will want to pick tools that are specially designed for your type of goals. Sometimes it helps to use different tools for goals of different types. 2. Select tools that are comprehensive and easy to use Secondly, it’s critical to select a system that is easy to use and doesn’t require a lot of time to learn and setup. This cannot be over emphasized. A goal setting tool is to help you focus on your goals, how you achieve your results, not on learning to use myriads of features, or anything else. If a system is too difficult to use, you’d do better without it. However, “easy to use” does not mean it has to be simple. A...
5 Myths About Bible Reading

5 Myths About Bible Reading

If I asked you, “What are your most important priorities?” my guess is that “God” would be at the top of the list. As Christian men, we want to honor our Creator and live according to God’s principles. Once when Jesus was asked about priorities, he said this one should take the top spot: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:29-30, NIV). Most of us struggle with putting God first in our schedules, particularly in the form of Bible reading. The Barna Group, a premiere research organization, reports that only 37% of Americans read the Bible once a week or more. In the same report, the Barna Group also shares this shocking finding: ”Among those who say their Bible reading decreased in the last year, the number-one reason was busyness: 40% report being too busy with life’s responsibilities (job, family, etc.), an increase of seven points from just one year ago.” Two truths emerge here: Most of us don’t read the Bible regularly, and that trend is increasing because we feel too busy. How do we counteract this trend and make time for Bible reading? The answer is not just in managing your time better. It’s about changing your perspective on Bible reading. Here are five myths that hinder spiritual growth and how to address them. Managing your priorities is a key to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help you implement all...
How Dealing With The Big Rocks First Helps You To Achieve Your Dreams

How Dealing With The Big Rocks First Helps You To Achieve Your Dreams

There is a story that is often told in Time Management Circles. It is often credited to Steven Covey, and it goes like this… One day an expert was giving a presentation to a class of MBA students about managing their priorities. To illustrate his point, he placed a one-gallon wide-mouth glass jar on the counter.  He then placed a handful of fist sized rocks into the jar. We he couldn’t fit anymore rocks in the jar, he asked, “Is it full?” The class enthusiastically responded “YES!” To which the expert replied “not yet.” He then reached under the counter and grabbed a bag of gravel. He added the gravel too the jar, and tapped it down until it filled all of the spaces between the rocks,  and he couldn’t fit anymore in the jar.  Again he asked, “Is it full?” and again the class responded “YES.” He again told them that it wasn’t full yet. Smiling, he reached under the counter again, and this time pulled out a bag of sand. He used the sand to fill all of the spaces between the rocks and the gravel. When he couldn’t pour anymore sand into the jar, he asked once again, “Is it full?” This time the class was sure that the jar was full, and they replied, “Yes, it is full!” The the man opened his water bottle, poured it into the jar until it was ready to overflow, and said, “It is full now!”   Managing you “big rocks” is a key to creating the life of your dreams. Click here to get my free checklist to help...