“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ― Jim Rohn
I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea that we’re only as good as the five people that we spend the most time with. I think that a lot of my struggles have come from trying to go it alone. I have found that if I surround myself with men who encourage and challenge me, it helps me to become a better man.
Maybe you are in the same situation. If so, you’re not alone!
The title of a recent post on Salon.com was “American men’s hidden crisis: They need more friends!” The article says “that of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends. Moreover, the friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships.”
You might find it encouraging to know that you’re not alone in this, although it might not feel that way.
Who you surround yourself with makes a huge difference in your life, and when you’re surrounded by the wrong people, it has a huge negative impact on you.
If you find that you spend a lot of time spinning your wheels and flinging a lot of mud, but never moving forward, it might be because of the people that you surround yourself with.
How Do You Surround Yourself With The Right Men?
My problem has been that I have not always surrounded myself with the right people. I am a total introvert and I have a problem with meeting new people. In the interest of being completely honest, I don’t have a lot of men friends. I don’t hang out with the wrong people… just very few people. I have found that I have a lot of resistance to forming relationships with other men.
In the past, I connected with a group of men from my church. We would meet every Friday morning, and we would also plan regular “man dates” for dinner, movies, etc.
Over the last year, I have been meeting every Monday morning with a group of 3 other men. This has made a huge difference in my life and it is one of the things that I credit with helping me become a better man, a better husband, and a better father.
I met these men through a mutual friend, and although the three of us live in different parts of the country we meet every week on Skype. We are committed to helping each other to grow and reach our goals.
You might meet a group of guys at work, a social activity, or at church. However you meet them, you need to have 4 types of men in your life.
The 4 Types Of Men That You Need In Your Life
It is always nice to have a group of men that you can turn to for prayer, advice, or just to listen to you vent. Statistics show that having guy friends will increase your chances of living a long, happy life.
Unfortunately having a bunch of fair-weather friends won’t do the trick. You need a diverse, well-rounded group of guys that will stick with you through thick and thin. The following four types of friends are just what you need to become a better man, and a better husband and father.
1. The Best Friend – Every man needs a loyal non-judgmental friend who will support him no matter what. This is the kind of friend who lets you be you. Someone who knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, and still loves you all the same. When your world is falling apart, it is your best who helps you stay focused on what really matters.
2. The Trustworthy Confidant – There are certain situations in life where we need to hear the harsh truth. That’s where your trustworthy confidant comes in. He will listen to you, provide honest constructive advice, and not share your secrets with anyone else.
3. The Wise Mentor – We all need a friend who inspires us to be a better man, a better husband, and a better father without making us feel inadequate. Your wise mentor is simply someone who is a few steps ahead of you in life, and has enough wisdom and patience to guide you in the right direction. He can anyone that you look up to and want to be more like.
4. The Polar Opposite – As men, we tend to develop friendships with others who are just like us. Men who share the same values and beliefs that we have. Developing a friendship with someone who has a different world-view, will help you to learn and to see things differently.
With a best friend, a trustworthy confidant, a wise mentor, and a polar opposite in your life, you’re destined to become a better husband and father. If you put yourself in the company of other high achieving, driven, focused men, you will become like them.
Question: What can you do today to begin to form relationships with the 4 men that you need in your life? Comment Below.
Photo Credit: Bob Bob