This is Part 3 of a 3-part series on becoming a better husband and father:
- Part 1 – How To Become A Better Husband And Father In 2015…
- Part 2 – Do You Want To Achieve Something Extraordinary?
- Part 3 – [You Are Here] – 10 Secrets To Becoming An Awesome Husband And Father
Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions… that you just don’t measure up….that you’re not everything you were created to be?
Do you sometimes feel like you’re a terrible dad… a not so perfect husband…
When things are going well, do you manage to hide most of your shortcomings… but one little bump and it all crashes down like a house of cards.
Do You Compare Yourself To Others?
I’ve struggled with these feelings most of my life. When I was younger, I would blame it on not being more athletic…not being smart enough…or not having the right connections. But if I am truly honest with myself, I would admit that these feelings are caused by comparing my life to the life of others.
There are an infinite number of categories that I use to make these comparisons, but once I start walking down this path, I discover that it is a path that never ends. It is a path that steals your joy, and leaves you feeling tired, worn down, and depressed.
Maybe you struggle with this too.
If so, how can we break free of the habit of comparing our life to the life of others?
How can we change from doing just enough…to completing what we start?
How can we go from making our marriage work…to having an awesome marriage?
How can we go from being a dad…to having a great relationship with our kids?
How can we deliver on the promises that we have made to ourselves and others?
How can we get off of this path, and onto the path that leads to feelings of success instead of feelings of failure?
How To Be A Success Instead Of A Failure
The easy answer is too quit comparing ourselves to others, but the reality of the situation is that it isn’t that easy.
We all unique individuals who were created to be successful. We need to stop listening too the voices that tell us that we can’t, and just do it. We need to get rid of all of our baggage that is holding us back.
We need to decide that the future is going to be different from the past, and create a plan to move forward.
I don’t have all answers, but I am working daily to find them. Sometimes we need to just step back and evaluate what truly is important to us and our families.
I’ve been through a lot in my life, and I still haven’t got it all figured out. But these 10 secrets have helped me to become a better me, a better husband, and a better father – and they can help you too.
10 Secrets To Becoming a Better Husband And Father
1. Know Where Your Are Headed Most of us plan our careers, our new new homes, and even our vacations, but we never take the time to plan our life. As a result we often end up with poor health, failed marriages, and broken families. It doesn’t have to be this way. Begin to live your life on purpose by taking the time to get clear about where you are going in life.
2. Know Your Priorities Your priorities become clear once you know where you are headed in life. Once you are clear about where you are headed in life, your priorities become clear. By keeping things simple you will be able to focus on the few things that really matter to you.
3. Manage Your “BIG ROCKS Your “big rocks,”are the really important items that require your attention if you are going to succeed. Time management pros will tell you that identifying those big rocks first is a key to getting things done. Focus on getting your “big rocks” taken care of first, and the rest will fall into place.
4. Seek The Advice Of Other Men Most men don’t tell anyone what they want or what they are struggling with, therefore they don’t get an outside perspective. When we do this, we miss out on the experience of others. Take the time to listen and learn from other men who have been where you are and have experienced what you are experiencing.
5. Know That Your Job Is Not Your Identity You are a husband first, and a father second. Your job is what you do to pay the bills. Don’t make the mistake of tying your self-esteem to the success or failure of your job.
6. Know When To Say “No” Once you have said “yes” to your priorities in life, you are in a great position to say “no” to those activities that matter less. Suddenly you have the clarity and the courage to manage your opportunities rather than to be managed by them. Learn to say “no” too the good, so that you can say “yes” too the best.
7. Don’t Take Your Health For Granted This is one area where you need to put yourself first. This means before your family, friends, and career, because you can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself. If you don’t look after your own health and become sick, you are not much use to your family or your employer.
8. Have A Support Network Very few people (if any) achieve anything great alone. Sports stars have teammates, coaches, and cheerleaders. You should too. Be willing to ask the people in your life to support you. It’s great to have the help, the encouragement and the fellowship of others who want you to be the best husband and father that you can be. It makes all the difference in the world.
9. Focus On One Thing At A Time In the past, most people believed that multitasking was a good way to increase productivity. After all, if you’re working on several different tasks at once, you’re bound to accomplish more, right? Unfortunately, multitasking does not save you time. Not only has research shown that multitasking reduces your productivity, it has also be shown to be harmful to your health. Focus on your career when you are at work, and your family when you are at home.
10. Think “We,” Not “Me” It sounds so obvious but having a truly family-oriented life requires everyone thinking in a family-oriented way. Once you begin to see your work as something that takes place within the larger context of the goals of the other people in your family, you are able to stop stressing about whether you have your priorities in the right order and everything naturally fell into place. The important thing is to show by your actions that your family is important thing in your life
As Men, we tend measure our success based on the success of others around us. We try to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders while we support our family, when we should rely on our spouses and our faith to guide us.
If you are at the point in your life where you feel the need to hit the reset button, try working through these10 secrets, one at a time. They will help you to get your life back on track, and get you on the path to becoming a better husband and father.
Question: What have I missed? What would you add to this list? Comment below.