According to news reporter Walter Winchell, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” As a man we have acquaintances, and then we have friends. A real friend is one that sticks with you through thick and thin.
Honestly most men lack real friends. We tend to operate with shallow relationships. This is due to that fact that friendship requires intimacy, and most men will run for the hills instead.
I read an article awhile back that well brought all this to light.
“Of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends. Moreover, the friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships. When men get together, they’re more likely to do stuff than have a conversation.”
This article resonates with me as it speaks a great deal of truth. We usually would rather hunt, fish, or watch a game than talk to each other. However there are certain types of friends every man needs in their life, whether they admit it or not. Through the callous exterior all men can sheepishly admit that these guys really exist in their life. Sometimes one friend embodies several types, but we need them just the same.
1. Sensai – Every guy has that friend who is chock full of snippets of wisdom. Whether they have a quote for all occasions or sage advice for every season. They have the calm and guidance like the Jedi master Yoda. He may not be short and green, but he is the friend that always has the answers you seek. This is the friend that will share tidbits of knowledge at just the right time. In his own whimsical way he adds value to everyone he meets.
2. Tech Geek – Got that friend who spends hours in front of his T.V. playing video games? Maybe he is the one that built his own gaming computer from the ground up because AlienWare just didn’t cut it. This guy is the one that never went to school but knows more about coding, hacking than best black or white hat out there. He is the friend you call on when your WiFi won’t work or you got a virus playing around on the web. Not always the friend that you call on to grab a beer, but they are dependable in their own awkward ways.
3. Sidekick – Batman had Robin, Earl had Randy, Jay had Bob, the list goes on there is always a sidekick. There is that one close friend who is generally regarded lesser to the one he accompanies. We all have them, they are the one that follows in our shadow. They only talk highly about us to others and yet usually get mistreated. This friend will tag along even when it is awkward just to be a part of the party. They are the friend that will give you the shirt off his back in any time of need.
4. Glad Hander – We all know one of these guys. He is a social climber. This is the guy that knows everyone who knows someone. Need something done, he will know someone who can do it. Usually this guy is a great networker and makes friends easily. Many times this friendship comes across a bit superficial, and at times offensive, and yet can be a great friend indeed.
5. Married Guy – Whether you are married or single there is always that married guy that’s a bit of a sap. He always turns you down for a guys’ night out, or even just to meet for coffee. He is always busy with tee-ball, work, babysitting, or whatever. This is the friend that has kids, been married forever, and never lets anyone forget it. A great friend to have, be he can be a bit of a downer as he is always busy and wants to share all about it.
6. Penny-Pincher – In every group of friends there is always that one that cannot afford to do anything. You know that there is no way money can be that tight. Even so he never seems to have enough for whatever it is. Sometimes he even conveniently forgets his wallet whenever the bill comes due. This is the guy that will always know how to find the best deal and will share his knowledge of frugality with you.
7. Workaholic – Nothing wrong with a hardworking man earning his keep. That has its limits and when your friend works night and day just trying to make ends meet. Or maybe he is always too busy working to ‘do lunch’ or hang out with the guys. The corporate ladder is great to climb as long as you don’t leave your friends behind. A friend many times will end up divorced and alone. Generally this friend will need a friend like you to give his life balance.
8. Christian – Religion can be a slippery slope at times, especially with guys. The machoism of most men prevents them from sharing their heart. Many times this means they will read their Bible and go to church, just not tell their buddies. It is no wonder that churches are struggling with keeping men in the pews, when men don’t share that they are there. Usually there will be that one friend that will pray when you eat together. Maybe he will say ‘bless you’ when you sneeze. Either way having this friend can add to your core in times of need. A man who is unashamed will treat your friendship as you really are his brother, not just to call you his ‘bro’.
9. Work Buddy – This is the guy that wants to be your friend at work. He usually will bond with one or two peers at the workplace. You may only hang out at work and that is perfectly fine. Many times it is best for work to be work. However even at the office every guy needs a guy that he can rely on. This will be the guy that you can vent to in the thick of thing and rely on to pitch in if needed. Generally they stay just work buddies, maybe catch a beer for happy hour but usually don’t cross over into the usual friend group.
10. Jack-of-all-trades – You know that guy that can fix your car with some duct tape and a paper clip. The one that always has the pickup truck when it is time to move. Always shows up with a 12-pack to just watch the game when you had a rough week. This is the guy who pitches in whenever he is needed. His timing is impeccable, showing up without being called. He is the one that is not afraid to get dirty. He will help you with things that matter, just because they matter to you.
Best friend of all – Your Dog – This is the friend that is loyal through it all. Friends may come and go, your dog will always stick by you. With the unconditional spirit and his wagging tail at the end of the day, he is the one that will always be your friend. No matter what you wear, the habits you hide or anything else he will be by your side. Unlike your friends and family, a dog is one that accepts you for who you are.
We all serve a purpose, and are made to be friends with others. It is our responsibility to choose our friends wisely. Even more so it is ours to be a good friend indeed. Whether you have a hundred friends or just a few, being one that is supportive and loyal is what matters most
As a man we can hope to have a few true friend in life. If there is a man who has been a friend to you, why not let them know? Feel free to comment below your thoughts and then share this post with your friends.